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Dr. Demented

Winning her back or not

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I've been a mess the last month and a half. My other half, the woman I was planning to marry, just out of the blue left me and moved in with another guy and refuses to even see or talk to me.  She broke up with me 30 minutes before I got home from a 4 month tour and said she had moved out two days earlier. The whole time, she always told me loved me and nothing seemed wrong.

We had issues with jealousy on her part and I had friends who exacerbated that. She basically accused me of cheating, but I didn't. I've since deleted all of them and done everything possible to prove to her that I never cheated, including having the women she thought I cheated with email her and tell her I was faithful to a fault. It makes no difference. She absolutely refuses to even see me face to face once to give me the closure I need. I just need her to look me in the eyes and tell me she doesn't love me any more and I'll walk away forever, but she won't even give me that courtesy. 

I have friends (women) who say I should be out having a good time with other women since she is, but I'm pretty stuck on her. I've tried but they aren't her...know what I mean? I've had myself in such a "faithful" mentality that even kissing another woman makes me feel like I'm cheating. I keep thinking about how she'd feel if she saw me kissing or fucking someone else, lol. Sounds neurotic even to me. It's not like she gives a single damn what I'd think if she was blowing her new guy so why should I care? But I do. :(

I guess I'm just trying to figure out what to do. I've attempted suicide and that didn't work out. I just don't know how to get over someone who is this significant to me. I've had breakups before but nothing like this because she is the only woman I ever found who was truly "perfect" for me. I'm a picky fucker. She's beautiful, smart, witty, kinda cunty (lol), great in bed, loves sex with me and wants it as much as I do, thought I was the greatest thing since sliced bread and treated me that way. Seriously, she's perfect. 

She swore she'd never leave me and spent almost 4 years reassuring me. Then she left. I should hate her, but there isn't a single cell in my body that could ever hate her. Am I just doomed or is there a cure besides a bullet in my brainpan? 

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she is trouble move on jealousy isnt worth it the craziness!  You tried but it is water under the bridge ! It wont be easy but she isnt worth it ! Good luck

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