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Should I Tell My Wife

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7 replies to this topic

#1 Timlovesbbws

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Posted 27 July 2017 - 09:34 PM

I've been married for five years and love my wife very much. Since I got married I've become extremely attracted to BBWs but my wife is far from that. I have never cheated on my wife and don't intend to start but I don't know if I should tell her about this or continue to keep it a secret.

#2 markknyc

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Posted 31 July 2017 - 04:58 PM

I struggled with this for a while, finally came clean a few years ago.  

 

Now my wife is BBW (although she did not start out that way) but somehow the idea of actually coming out and admitting I'd been into BBW's since I was in my teens was hard for me.  

 

I'd had a close call with her finding an issue of "Plumpers and Big Women" in my porn stash before we were married but I blamed it on the magazine being packaged with another adult magazine, an excuse she seemingly bought. Now the magazine was well-worn, which would certainly poke holes in my story - but anyway, she went along with it.

 

Flash forward to a few years ago and I finally found a way to be honest out of the blue. We saw a woman in her early 20's wearing an outfit that some might say was too tight or revealing for her body type (of course, those people are insane - she was smoking hot.) Anyway, my wife made a joke along the lines of "sweetie, put some clothes on..." and whether it was my arousal or just feeling like I didn't need to pretend anymore I said "she looks just fine to me". I followed up with another "joke" about "well, maybe I need a second or third look, JUST to be sure!" which made her laugh. I felt like I'd broken the ice.

 

Maybe a month or two later, I got a second chance to bring up BBWs when the subject of porn viewing came up.  It's a subject that we didn't really discuss at that point in our marriage, but we'd gone out to dinner with some folks the night before porn usage by the husbands was a topic of often-humorous conversation.  My wife asked me what porn I watched and I said "nothing extraordinary, you know, just the same things I'm into all the time..." and then I said, point blank "bigger...women.  big asses, etc.  People that remind me of you".  I couldn't believe I'd done it, but she was totally fine with it.  

 

I guess the difference on your end is that your wife is not BBW.  Do you ever watch porn together? 



#3 Timlovesbbws

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Posted 31 July 2017 - 08:25 PM

Thanks for the story. I'm really glad that things worked out for you. My wife and I do not watch porn together. She's open to trying new things in the bedroom but she talks about how porn destroys marriages. I never really used to look at porn but since I've developed this attraction I look at only BBW porn about twice a week. If my wife was a larger woman I would feel more comfortable with telling her but I'm afraid that it would hurt her feelings telling her that I'm attracted to a body type that wasn't hers. I try to think of how it would be the other way around. If a guy had a BBW wife and was attracted to skinny women it probably wouldn't go over well if he told her about it. At the same time I hate keeping secrets from my wife. I don't know what I would do if she caught me looking at porn let alone BBW porn. I just don't know what to do.

#4 markknyc

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Posted 01 August 2017 - 04:03 PM

You should not feel guilty about being who you are, being attracted to who you are or looking at porn.  

 

But we don't need to share every aspect of our fantasies with spouses if it's going to have a detrimental impact on a relationship.

 

Fantasize, jerk off, etc - but don't share if you think it will make her uncomfortable.  


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#5 jff86

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Posted 29 August 2017 - 03:15 PM

I had an ex who was on the thin/fit side and I never had the courage to tell her I was attracted to bbw. I only confided in a friend of mine, but doing so was a bit helpful because at least I wasn't keeping it to myself.



#6 big_brunette

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Posted 17 September 2017 - 10:49 AM

why are you guys talking about this like it's some awful shameful secret you keep inside?  FFS. 


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#7 inflatoboy

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Posted 26 September 2017 - 04:33 PM

Thankfully, this has never been an issue for me. 



#8 Timlovesbbws

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Posted 26 September 2017 - 08:43 PM

I really don't feel like being attracted to BBWs is some awful shameful secret. My only concern is that if I tell my wife about it she will be hurt. I've came close to telling her how I feel a few times but I haven't. The topic doesn't really come up organically so it's difficult. I feel like there is a double standard with my wife which is frustrating. She will tell me that she finds British men attractive because of their accents but it doesn't bother me because it's a common thing to be attracted to guys with accents and I know that she won't go out and bang some British guy. But because being attracted to BBWs isn't common there it doesn't seem to work the same. Some day she will catch me checking out a bigger woman and I will have no shame in telling her that I find that woman to be attractive it just hasn't happened yet.





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